A Day of Helping and Healing

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A Day of Helping and Healing

9 On Your Side and WCPO.com plans a day of programming, stories and information Dec. 19 in the aftermath of the Sandy Hook rampage. Please share your questions with our guest, counsellor Darlene Kelley.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 3:35:01 PM
Darlene Kelley is here! She says she has the gift of going on private journeys with people and helping facilitate change. Send us you questions 11-1

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 3:51:53 PM
Darlene here: There's no way to describe what this evil was.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 3:52:12 PM
Children I've worked with have already shared concerns about whether their school is safe. And whether this could happen to them.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:10:32 PM
As adults & professionals, we need to reassure the children that there are safety systems in place at the schools.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:11:07 PM
Kids want specifics about safety at school. We don't need to relive the details of the incidents, but let them know that schools have them.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:12:54 PM
Small children from 3 to 5, if they don't know about a traumatic incident, you don't need to tell them. Keep them in their normal routine.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:13:43 PM
For older kids, they are very concrete. They don't have abstract thought like adults.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:14:13 PM
How can a grandparent help grandchildren understand .... this is so foreign to anything we ever faced

by PeePaw 12/19/2012 4:14:20 PM
Hi there! Depending on the child's age.... For a small child, ages 3 to 5, if they don't know about the incident no need to share it with them.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:15:10 PM
For older kids, it's important to answer questions but not repeat the traumatic details.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:15:31 PM
Children do not think in the abstract way until about age 13. So, if someone shot kids at a school, young children think that shooter could come to their house.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:16:13 PM
Let kids know we are here to protect them! There are security systems in schools to help.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:16:36 PM
Does this help? Feel free to ask more questions, sir!

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:16:53 PM
Yes. Thanks. I worry about the grandkids and also my kids and how tough it is to be a parent these days

by PeePaw 12/19/2012 4:18:10 PM
I am concerned for my son who has been dx with Aspergers. He is attending brick and mortar school for the first time in several years this year. Yesterday a girl in his class told him that she was afraid that he was going to shoot the class because he is "quiet and autistic." "I'm not like that, Mom." my son told me. How can I help him?

by A Mother 12/19/2012 4:18:14 PM
Hi there... I am so sorry that children receive misinformation.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:18:29 PM
By no means does the fact your child has Asperger's make him a danger to anyone in the school.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:18:52 PM
Unfortunately, this young lady must have been told by an adult that the Newtown CT shooter has autism.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:19:17 PM
VERY important: Remember children have concrete thought therefore do not realize that just because this happened in Newtown, doesn't mean it will happen in their town.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:19:52 PM
As this age, the think very literally, and do not have abstract thinking skills.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:20:18 PM
This was a high school tenth grader. I am concerned that with holidays coming up, these feelings are going to get uglier.

by A Mother 12/19/2012 4:22:17 PM
It is important to stress that this kind of evil does not come from autism. I would recommend you talk to the teacher and the principal

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:23:23 PM
It would help to provide some education about autism to the students: to be clear that no psychological issue by itself causes this kind of tragedy.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:23:59 PM
How else can I help? Any more questions?

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:24:15 PM
I am a 50 yr old man that is struggling with depression from losing my job of 15 yes and getting divorced both very recently. I am taking viibrd and it doesn't seem to be helping. I cannot find anyone to recommend other avenues for me to persue for help. Can you?

by Jerry 12/19/2012 4:30:48 PM
Thanks for the question... It's great that you're actively trying to treat your depression. If you feel the current medication isn't helping it's important to contact your physician.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:31:26 PM
Explain the symptoms you're still experiencing. He or she should be able to recommend many different options. Don't give up!

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:31:53 PM
Do you think that will work? After Virginia Tech, the school district instituted a zero tolerance policy for kids on the Autism Spectrum and tried to shift them from regular classrooms into "The Autism Program." We had already tried that and it was a horror. That is why my son had been home schooled. I've already called the school psychologist this morning, but she hasn't called me back. There are only two days to Christmas break. If this young woman hasn't made the cognitive shift, her extended family probably hasn't either. These things get out of control when ignorant people discuss them (e.g., Hitler, Karla Faye Tucker, etc.)

by A Mother 12/19/2012 4:32:26 PM
I understand.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:33:04 PM
It's important to talk to your son and let him know that many people are unaware and don't have the correct information. Remind him of his strengths and how much you love him.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:33:42 PM
Also, let him know that in life many people say unkind things or things that are untrue. And that he doesn't have to dignify that statement with an answer. He can walk away. Also, I think ona national level, we need to give more information about the autism spectrum.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:34:41 PM
These children have many unique qualities, as you know!

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:35:18 PM
Hey folks! We are taking questions about talking to your kids in the aftermath of Newtown, CT. If you have general questions about mental health, please call our phone back from noon to 7pm 513-749-9400

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:36:54 PM
As we think about mental illness and other conditions, it's important for people to know, that regardless of a diagnosis that is made about the Newtown, CT shooter, no single psychiatric condition causes this kind of tragedy,

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 4:52:02 PM
I'm a stay at home mom of a 15 year old boy and a 4 1/2 yr old girl. First, I have been completely devastated by this and find myself suddenly crying in the most inconvenient places. How do I move thru this? And second, my son seems angry about this and keeps talking about 'taking down' anyone that would try this around him 'since he will probably die anyway', as he says. I try to tell him that he should run and/or hide, that 'playing hero' will only get him killed and possibly others as well. How do I talk to him and redirect his thinking on this?

by Kristen 12/19/2012 5:01:52 PM
Hi Kristen.. Thanks for sharing. Your reactions are normal following this terrible tragedy.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 5:02:30 PM
It's important to seek professional help so there's a safe environment where you can process these feelings without your children feeling they need to help you.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 5:03:00 PM
Also, it's imperative to get your son in to see someone. His anger is justifiable but he needs some help to know this is never an appropriate response. A therapist can help him process his feelings.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 5:03:57 PM
Let your kids know that this was a terrible tragedy and was pure evil. Evil people don't walk the streets every where. Your kids are safe. You and their father and school officials will make sure they are safe.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 5:04:45 PM
Hi Darlene - at what age do you think is appropriate to start talking to your children about this tragedy. I have a 3 year old who I feel is too young to even bring this up, but would it be ok to speak with a 5 or 6 y/o?

by John 12/19/2012 5:04:50 PM
You are on target John. 3 is too young for discussion of this tragedy. Keep your three year old in a normal routine.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 5:05:33 PM
As far as your 5 or 6 year old, don't discuss unless they know already and have questions.

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 5:06:17 PM
Yes, do let his therapist know as soon as possible. And remember, that despite the fact your son may have an autism spectrum diagnosis, remind him of his gifts and unique qualities and that you love him. Good luck to you!

by Holly Edgell 12/19/2012 5:07:26 PM
He does have a therapist and I will contact her today and let her know. We believe he is on the autism spectrum so he deals with things differently.

by Kristen 12/19/2012 5:07:28 PM